On the Train

From Nancy McDonough, Michigan, USA

My 55 year old husband died of cancer in November, 2007. He had been sick for 3 and half years during which time my soul focus was on how to save him. I am devastated, grieving and generally unable to make many decisions. But, I thought it might do my daughters some good to get out of the house on their spring break,so I planned a 2 day trip to Chicago.  The girls had never been on a train. It was a lovely break for my 8-year-oldCallen and my 14-year-old Annie. The days were filled with the Field museum, a performance of "Wicked," and of course, The American Girl Place. My heart was heavy.  I missed my Michael and I had a very uneasy feeling that I should not be away from home, particularly since I have older children in college and now, I was a parent alone.
        
It was with sadness that I boarded the train on April 3, 2008. Michael would not be there when I arrived home in Bay City. The children and I quickly found our seats and then stood aside as more passengers boarded and walked past us to find their seats. An elderly woman passed and I noticed the familiar mother /baby logo on her bag. I was surprised and thought to myself, "Why would an older person have that bag?" as I spoke out to her and said, "I like that organization."  She kept walking, clearly not hearing my comment.  Suddenly a younger woman walking behind her responded, "Do you know that organization?"  I misread her tone to be critical, and felt the need to defend League. I launched into a litany of why La Leche League is invaluable.  The woman stopped me in mid-stream, and asked, "Do you know who those women are? They're two League Founders!" An excitement swelled in my soul as she continued, "Would you like to meet them?"  Of course, there was no hesitation.  Edwina Froehlich and Mary Ann Cahill were seated just a few rows in front of us. I leaned over into my daughters' faces and said with as much volume and urgency as was possible, "Please be good!  MY MEETING THESE WOMEN IS JUST LIKE IF YOU HAD MET HANNAH MONTANA RIGHT HERE ON THIS TRAIN!" In sudden and complete understanding of the gravity of the situation, they froze as I moved toward the two women with Janet Jendron.
           
Janet introduced me and I did feel just like a teenager meeting a rock star, except that the work these women had done was even more important and I told them so.  I bubbled over in excitement and told them of my love for Le Leche League, how they had changed my life. How shortly after my son was born and I became involved, they were responsible for my having six beautiful children and nursing them all until THEY were done. They asked me to join them for the trip and I could not believe it. I was joyous. My girls saw the joy in me as we rearranged our seats so that Edwina and I faced Janet and Mary Ann and we moved the girls, so that they were in the very next seat behind us. Understanding that this group was somehow as important to me as Hannah Montana is to them, my daughters politely introduced themselves to the group, returned to their seats, and quietly passed the time.
        
I settled into my seat and knew that I was in for the thrill of a lifetime. I was able to tell the Founders of La Leche League how it had been my husband who had first called League when nurses tried to feed our first child sugar water in the hospital.  It just did not make sense to us. But I had been a teacher and Mike was a lawyer, what did we know?  A Leader showed up at the hospital within an hour with the literature and sources to back us up. Michael was so impressed. We learned all we could though League publications, Dr. Sears books, and I attended meetings. We excitedly shared our discoveries; it all fit together like a puzzle; it was common sense.  Soon, I became a Leader and a Lactation Consultant and my third, fourth, fifth, and sixth babies were born at home. We chattered about their children and how proud they are. These women exuded an intelligence, charm, beauty, and sincerity. I learned about their families and lives. Edwina glowed as she talked about her three sons.

Periodically Janet and I would laugh about my initial reaction to her - I had somehow felt the need to defend League to a person who had devoted 30 years of service on LLLI's Board, on the Area level, and now with the LLL Alumnae Association. She was traveling with MaryAnn and Edwina to the LLL Michigan Conference.  
 
I shared my grief over my husband and learned that Mary Ann had lost her husband at the same point in life. This was incredible to me and made our chance meeting seem like destiny. They comforted me and helped me. We connected on so many levels and had the rapport of old friends reuniting. The trip passed as if in the blink of an eye.
         
As my children and I said goodbye to Edwina, Mary Ann, and Janet, and headed to our car, I felt changed. Somehow, I was healed, just a bit, I felt stronger, just a bit, and I even felt a little hope. My children saw a big change. They had not seen me that smiley or excited in a very long time. When we returned home, they excitedly told all our friends and relatives that mom was crazy excited because of the ladies she met on the train who were very, very important people!

As I reflect with sadness in hearing of Edwina's passing, I am struck by two things. First, if my life was so changed by her work, imagine the thousands of other women who she has touched. And secondly, yes, her legacy will live on, but she is an individual, brilliant, beautiful soul whose personal contact had the power to connect, befriend, console, excite, and change me in a short time, in an unplanned meeting, on a train out of Chicago.
                                
Nancy J. McDonough

P.S.  The day I visited with these women, I realized that I had left La Leche League behind in my life. I thought I was too old and had passed out of that stage in my life.  When I met them on the train, MaryAnn was 80 and Edwina 93, with Janet a mere 60! If these women were still traveling to conferences and had so much to offer, maybe I should not let La Leche League slip away from me. In fact, maybe they could still teach me and maybe I still had something to offer. After all, I am only 50!  When I returned home, I went to the LLL web page and found the LLLI Alumnae site. I have since sent in my dues and am very proud to be a member once again.

Reply from Pete Froehlich, Edwina's son:

Nancy,

Thank you so much for your remembrance of Mom, and in such an eloquent, articulate way. Your story of the chance meeting you had with Edwina and Mrs. Cahill is heart-warming to me and my brothers. 

Yes, Edwina was as passionate about LLLI in 2008 as she was in 1956. Congratulations on your decision to remain active with the Alumnae. The wisdom you have accumulated through your own life experiences shouldn't be put away in a closet somewhere. You have a lot to share. LLLI is an organization to which Edwina dedicated the majority of her life. La Leche needs the Nancy McDonough's of the world to continue sharing, in order to benefit future generations. Edwina is the first Founder to leave us, and eventually all seven will all pass. It is important that those who feel the passion like you do, continue to carry the torch.

Thank you again for your wonderful recollection of the train ride you shared with Mom.  :)

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